drinking, drugs and dressing rooms

There is an urban legend about women who require a trip to the local bar to face the horror of the yearly swimsuit purchase.  That’s right – otherwise relatively well-adjusted women who require way more than a glass of Dutch courage to get them through the trauma of the bathing suit dressing room.  I have heard tales of teary women collapsing into hysterics when they discover they can no longer squeeze themselves into the size they thought they were; husbands, mothers, sisters and friends having to be called to come and collect those so shaken by the horror which has occurred behind the dressing room curtain, they are no longer capable of driving themselves home.  At the time I thought it was totally ludicrous that grown women – individuals capable of running households, holding down jobs and rearing children could feel such anxiety about trying on a couple of pieces of lycra.  And then I had baby number three.

Little Fashionista is my pride and joy; she truly makes my heart sing.  However, the change my body experienced carrying her is the reason why I now firmly believe that Swimwear Galore should have an open bar. 

Today’s excursion to purchase both LF and myself swimsuits was, in a word, mortifying.  Not so much for her. A cute little pink and white polka dot Speedo one-piece and an adorable Pucci inspired tankini from Funkita, and LF was done.  Then came mummy’s turn.

“You’re quite chesty, aren’t you?  What cup size are you, DD?  E? Oh, none of the ones you’ve chosen will come close to fitting.  (awkward giggle)  What size bottoms?  You used to be an 8?  Not anymore I’m afraid!  More likely a 10, possibly even a 12 with those hips.”  Awesome.  Thank you 18 year-old sales assistant.  If you could just say it a touch louder.  I’m pretty sure there are people shopping in your Fitzroy store that haven’t heard you.

Well-meaning friends have recommended taking ‘selfies’ of myself in various bathers to get a more objective view of how I look in each set.  Bad move.  There is nothing like a photo of yourself under the harsh neon light of a dressing room, sans make-up and hair done, in bathers that don’t really fit you properly to send you running for the Xanax.  Add to this the fact that most of the women surrounding you in the dressing room seem to be about twenty years your junior and a size two, with their most serious swimsuit-related concern being, “Do I get it in the tangerine or the cerulean?”, makes the experience the ultimate confidence destroyer. 

In the end however, thanks to some excellent sales people, I discovered there are in fact some amazingly beautiful bathers available to us “chesty” women.  I walked away with a beautiful set from Jets by Jessika Allen as well as one from Baku. 

What I originally took as offensive was actually a highly trained salesperson being honest about my body and what would best flatter me – something I now greatly appreciate.  A word of advice for shoppers – set aside at least a couple of hours to ensure you don’t feel rushed, go somewhere which specialises in swimwear and has an abundance of knowledgeable and helpful staff to assist you, take a friend whose opinion you trust and be prepared to spend at least $200 a pair.  Like with many other essentials, good, well-fitting bathers don’t come cheap.      

Oh, and skip the open bar.  Leave that for afterwards.  Trust me, you'll need it. 

it's a girl thing

On a recent family holiday Little Fashionista and I stumbled across a girly wonderland in San Remo, Victoria.  In It's a Girl Thing Lysa Kiely has created a pink paradise for girls of all ages - a treasurer trove of girly gifts and bits and bobs.

Locally produced crochet coin purses and hair clips lie next to glam mirror finished jewellery boxes (couldn't resist picking one up for myself!).  Unusual but elegant homewares as well as indulgent bath and body products make leaving this adorable little cottage without pulling out the Visa a difficult task indeed. 

It's a Girl Thing houses a number of different rooms, each with an individual theme of sorts.  Some areas are for the young and young at heart with an array of  fairy and ballerina costumes as well as furry little friends to keep the younger princesses happy.  There are also rooms dedicated to the more adult woman, complete with colourful silky summer mini dresses and a range of fun costume jewellery.

For those looking for more than a bit of a shop, It's a Girl Thing offers personalised tailored weekends away - with Lysa and her crew taking care of as much or as little of the organising as your heart desires.  They can organise bus collection and travel to San Remo, accommodation for up to 18, a personal chef, pamper sessions and even Burlesque classes for the slightly more adventurous.

For further info, check out https://www.facebook.com/itsagirlthingSanRemo

And men, don't be frightened to head into this sherbet hued land to purchase your favourite lady a gift or two, Lysa assures me that It's a Girl Thing is "boy-friendly" too!   

tie me up

I vaguely remember the first time I watched Annie Hall.  I loved everything about Diane Keaton's character.  I loved her distinct way of speaking, her neurosis and of course, her style. 

Ties have long since been part of my wardrobe.  Nothing is cooler or sexier than a woman looking confident in a touch of androgynous wear.

Hollywood's history is littered with style icons who finished their outfits off with a necktie.  There are even those who were brave enough to go the full tuxedo, daring this patriarchal world to try and stop them.



audrey hepburn




marlene dietrich

Some of today's hottest Hollywood women have also displayed a penchant for the necktie.  Not surprisingly, we still see these classic accessories swung around the necks of those women known for their tendency to challenge traditional assumptions of female beauty.

gwen stefani

kristen stewart



leighton meester


I love the srength communicated by a woman in a necktie.  Wear with a crisp white shirt and team with jeans and a pair of brogues for a casual look, or team with a pencil skirt and a killer pair of heels for work.

My pick for the season?



rhodes and beckett navy with magenta pelican


So, while you're out shopping for the boy this Christma-kah, pick yourself up a little something Annie Hall would have worn. 

bag a bargain

With Christmas, Chanukah and general end-of-year gift giving season fast approaching, here are two events that will help discerning shoppers snaffle a bargain.

For those interested in purchasing a bit of bling for either themselves or as gifts (and what self-respecting fashionista isn't?), head down to Siri Designs Summer Jewellery Night on Thursday November 29th from 8pm.  Siri Designs stocks a range of unique pieces, either handmade or personally selected by Siri herself.  You can check out some of what is stocked on the company's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SiriDesigns 

For more info about the night email siri@siridesigns.com.au

As an Oroton devotee, I can highly recommend signing up for the O-List.  Oroton will then send you great offers on their products, including advance knowledge of their amazing outlet sales.  At the moment, Oroton is holding a 'Family & Friends' sale, which allows O-List members 50% off everything in store and online.  You really can't beat that!

What are you waiting for?  Stop reading and get out there and grab yourself a summer bargain!

less is more

The other evening I had the pleasure of venturing out to Crown with some girlfriends.  I should mention that this is not something I do terribly often.  Generally speaking, the ‘World of Entertainment’ serves to simply depress me and induce a massive migraine.  However, post-Stakes Day provided this little blogger with a plethora of fashion crimes to report on.   

1.  Too tight, too short

I am all for flaunting your womanly curves, however there is a line where alluring ends and “OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT GIRL WEARING??!!!” takes over.   A good outfit is one in which your positives are accentuated, attention is drawn away from your less attractive areas and the finer details are left safely to the imagination.  As a general rule, if the world can see your underpants, or lack of underpants, you shouldn’t be wearing it. 

It’s okay to wear something body conscious, it’s okay to wear a mini, it’s okay to wear something low cut, it’s okay to wear something backless.  It is not okay for one dress to be all those things.  And please ladies, if you choose to wear a mini-skirt, try it on for a friend before you wear it out – just because it covers your bits in front, doesn’t mean you’re all covered at the back. 

Included in this category is the dreaded muffin top.  Pants are meant to actually fit.  End of story.

2.  Just the right height

Like many other fashion devotees I love a good heel.  As a member of the more petite portion of society, I need a good heel.  However, there is a point at which an elegant pump or even stiletto stops being the finishing piece of a stunning ensemble and becomes plain stupid.  If you are wobbling, hobbling, stumbling, if you’re in danger of losing your balance then the heel of your shoe is too high and rather than remembering your killer shoes, most will be more likely to remember the chick who ended up sprawled face down at the bottom of the escalator. In fact, they won’t need to remember you, they can just check out the latest uploads to the “Embarrassing Nightclub Photos” Facebook page.  I am a huge fan of wedges – they can provide height, while still being reasonably comfortable.  But again, keep it within reason.  Overdo it and you end up looking like a reject from The Brady Bunch Goes to the Circus. 

3.  Oompa Loompa Factor

I get that some go the fake tan to help them attain a healthy glow.  Truth be known, looking at my pasty white legs, many would claim I could probably benefit from a bit of fakery myself.  However, there seems to be many Snooki wannabes out there who fail to understand that at some point one ceases to look sun-kissed and starts to look like a walking cheezel.  If you must partake of this particular fad, please try to remember the advice of Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, “Less is more”. 

stylish samm

One of the greatest parts of being a High School teacher is that you get to meet some extraordinary young people.  This year I was privileged to meet and teach the amazingly talented Samantha Guss.  It was clear from the beginning of the year that Samantha was a young woman of style, but it wasn't until later in the year that I realised what an incredible young designer I had been teaching all year.

If this is what the girl can do in Year 12, I can't wait to see what the next few years holds for her!

I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't be long till Samantha's creations are hitting the runways. 

style bar

Over the past two days Chadstone the Fashion Capital has once again cemented itself as *the* Melbourne shopping centre for the fashion conscious by hosting a Spring Racing Style Bar, providing FREE 15 minute styling sessions full of tips to help look fabulous for the upcoming spring racing carnival. 

Ashley from Burberry Beauty at David Jones was providing makeovers, noting that race-goers this season would be wearing bright lips in everything from fire-engine reds to intense plum colours.  If you're going to go with this trend, stick with smokey eyes in neutral tones.  Avoid pairing bringht lips with coloured eyeshadow unless the tent you're heading for is the big top.

As every girl knows, a bad hair day can ruin even the best outfit, so many were flocking to the amazing Campell Ritchie who was tending to tresses of all lengths and colours and giving advice on how to ensure your hair lasts as long as you do on race days.

Melbourne Milliner Melissa Jackson was on hand to help choose the perfect headpieces to go with race day outfits, while stylists Franco Schifilliti and Anika Walker were giving individual expert advice about how to marry personal style with on-trend, showstopping looks.

Franco emphasised that 'co-ordinating' does not mean 'matching'.  Would-be fashionistas should be looking achieve a "total balance" with their look.  To do this, Franco recommends never combining more than three colours in a single outfit.  Anika and Franco agree that this season is all about colour, colour and more colour (yay!) along with a healthy dose of prints. 

Accessories came from a range of stores including Portmans, Colette, Wittner and Rubi Shoes and highlighted the focus on bright colours and embellishment.

What did Anika choose for the Cheeky Fashionista?

seduce bliss cap sleeve dress

I must admit, not a piece I ever would have chosen myself, but I guess that's the point of a style bar - to push us out of our comfort zone and into a whole other world of fashion possibilities!